Best and Worst of the Worst 2012

With the Academy Awards hogging all of the attention, let's take a look at the Best and Worst of the Worst this past year.

Best Bad Movie of the year.

This honor belongs to none other than Dredd. Surprisingly fun remake of the 1995 Stallone train-wreck classic, Karl Urban was a perfect fit, and the plot jumped right into the cheese from the start. 90 minutes of fun, blood, and guns. Much more entertaining than I was expecting.

Best Sequel of the year.

This year had surprisingly few sequels compared to most years (including 2013). Avengers and Dark Knight Rises are going to be excluded from this analysis, as is Bourne Legacy and Skyfall due to the fact that none of them are necessarily "sequels" per se. I give this honor to Expendables 2. Great energy, stellar cast that will impress just about any 25-50 year old man, and good, light action. It delivers exactly what it advertises, and is pure adrenaline-filled fun.

Worst Sequel of the year.

Wrath of the Titans. Turned out to be a moneymaker, but the film, acting, and everything about it was terrible. Can't blame the studio for following the green, but this was a waste of time to watch.

Worst Remake of the year.

Total Recall. Len Wiseman will do just about anything to get his wife, Kate Beckinsale into tight clothes and on screen doing slow-motion action moves. Although fun to watch, it gets old when the rest of the movie is crap. Colin Farrell and Jessica Biel also couldn't save this from tanking, and there were maybe 3 fun special effects sequences, but I would watch the original ten times before I watch the new one again. A pointless remake of a fun original. The lesson here? You can't remake a Schwarzenegger action film. Period. Although, I would like to see someone try with Predator or The Running Man.

Most Surprisingly Good Film of the year.

Cabin in the Woods. I loved it. Joss Whedon hits the mark with a pre-Thor Hemsworth, and the perfectly deadpan comedic combo of Bradley Whitford and Richard Jenkins. Great plot twist, and fun in the way a horror movie is supposed to be. It's not scary at all, but it is executed flawlessly.


10 Worst films of the year.

1. Killer Joe. Simply absurd and disgusting. McConaughey is all sorts of unwatchable nonsense. I wish he would have killed the writers. the single most uncomfortable scene of the year involving fried chicken and sexual violence.
2. Premium Rush. Awful. See my review from August.
3. The Words. Didn't even make sense. And what did make sense didn't matter. Jeremy Irons was the only watchable part of it, and even that wasn't worth it.
4. The Dictator. Borat was incredible, Bruno was a little funny, but the Dictator was passe. Sasha Baron Cohen is a comedic genius, but I think he needs to channel his energy into something new.
5. John Carter. I was embarrassed for Taylor Kitsch until I remembered that he made millions. The story was like dropping into a confusing 80's sci-fi film without any background for context. Unnecessary and I hope Disney learned some lessons from it.
6. 3 Stooges. Terrible idea. The Farrelly Brothers used to have it, but obviously not anymore. Hopefully Dumb and Dumber To will bring them back into good humor.
7. Dark Tide. What's worse than a bad shark movie? A bad shark movie with Halle Berry.
8. Wanderlust. Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston couldn't save this turd. I couldn't tell if it was supposed to be funny or endearing, but it was neither, just a blemish on both of their resumes.
9. Goon. I watched this with good intentions, but Seann William Scott and Liev Schreiber just overdo the Canadian hockey stereotype. It's like Happy Gilmour without the jokes, but with gratuitous violence.
10. What to Expect When You're Expecting. If you saw the previews, you were better off than seeing the film. The best lines and scenes are there, and the best thing is that it only took a minute of your life. Awful movie with a stacked cast. I guess it was a chick flick, but even that didn't justify it for me.

There you have it, my year in review for the best and worst of the worst. I didn't see every film this year, so I would love to hear if you saw anything worse.

Stay tuned for my Oscar nomination reaction.