Avengers: Infinity War

So, I was waiting in line to see “I Feel Pretty” and all these people were talking about some big superhero movie, so I switched lines and boy, am I glad I did. Every penny of the rumored $1 billion dollars spent on this film and 2019’s untitled sequel will pay off hand over fist as box office records brace themselves to be shattered. Sorry James Cameron, you’ll have to wait until “Avatar 2” to return to the throne of all-time record holder.

$500 million can buy you a lot of talent, but it also creates cause for concern that maybe the films are a bit bloated. The simple solution is to begin the culling process. Nothing lasts forever, and although superhero sequels, spin-offs, and re-boots are the Hollywood fountain of youth, there comes a time to put all heroes to rest. “Infinity War” marks the beginning of the end for more than a few of our beloved characters.

The mad titan, Thanos (voiced tremendously by Josh Brolin) is on a mission to collect the six infinity stones scattered throughout the universe and destroy half of all living things to mercifully help those who survive. When assembled, the stones give the owner absolute control over time, space, power, soul, reality, and mind. It’s a bit cheesy, but the last ten years have all been building to this eventuality, so just go with it.

Thanos and his four henchmen, the Black Order, are unlike any villains we’ve seen in the MCEU before. They step over the boundaries of traditional fair play, and lay waste to everything in their paths, as punctuated by the opening sequence. Suffice to say, it falls on the collective strength and numbers of the Avengers to stop them, as before unacquainted heroes collaborate and venture on high-stakes missions to stop the mad titan before he collects the stones.

At a bloated two and a half hours, there isn’t nearly enough time to showcase the talent, and you won’t be satisfied in the end. I’ll say that now. It’s packed tighter than a can of sardines with non-stop action, and leaves the viewer hanging in one of the more abrupt intermissions in recent memory. You will find yourself eagerly anticipating next summer’s previously titled “Infinity War part 2.” That’s right, it’s simply the first half of a five-hour opus that would make even Peter Jackson envious. Therein lies the problem and the beauty. It’s Avengers overload, which might seem great on the surface, but it’s simply exhausting. And exhilarating. The bar keeps getting raised higher and higher, and I simply can’t imagine what this universe will look like in another decade.

Directed by the brothers’ team of Anthony and Joe Russo (“Captain America: Winter Soldier,” “Captain America: Civil War”) and written by the team of Christopher Markus, and Stephen McFeely (frequent Russo collaborators), there is a sense of pressure for a project this massive, but they all take it in stride. Sure, interactions and conversations are hurried to make room for everyone, and some of the sequences are a bit far-fetched to give everyone something important to do, but none are quite done at the expense of the ambitious plot of universal domination by Thanos. The film is astounding. The stuff movie theatres were made for. If you thought the original “Avengers” was good, you’ll love “Infinity War.”

You might (will) be surprised by the final act, which is just one of the things that makes this film great. It is a dark, stark turning point in the MCEU, but you may need to second guess what you thought you saw and heard, and once you figure it out, you’ll be blown away. The film captures the emotional movie-going experience you’re looking for and delivers it smoothly, just make sure you see it before the spoilers leak. It was what I was hoping for and then some. 9/10.

Rampage

Anyone who spent any time in a video game arcade remembers “Rampage” and its three monstrous characters; George (gorilla), Ralph (wolf), and Lizzy (lizard). The film doesn’t stray too far from the premise of the game; the player chooses one of the large mutated beasts and climbs and destroys buildings while attempting to avoid military interventions. Simple to say the least. The creative minds behind the film decided to throw The Rock into the mix, because virtually every action movie can benefit from The Rock (obviously). What unfolds on the screen is really more carnage than rampage, but the idea of translating the game to a film is intriguing enough to warrant a viewing.

Primatologist Davis Okoye (Dwayne Johnson) works at the San Diego wildlife refuge with George, an albino gorilla with whom he shares a special relationship. They communicate through sign language and fart jokes, and we discover early on that Davis is more of an animal lover than a people-person. Davis also happens to be ex-special forces and a helicopter pilot (both of which come in handy later in the film). When an unethical experiment in space goes awry, three normal animals (George included) are exposed to a chemical that causes genetic editing, rendering them large, aggressive, indestructible, and unpredictable. From there, humanity’s fate depends on Davis and Dr. Kate Caldwell (Naomie Harris) finding the antidote and stopping the beasts before they destroy Chicago. Oh, and the US military is completely ineffective and there are a pair of billionaire siblings who have some inexplicable nefarious plot. Never mind all that, the three beasts are on a rampage, and only The Rock can stop them.

If my plot synopsis didn’t sell it for you, imagine “Die Hard” meets “Planet of the Apes” meets “Pacific Rim” monsters. It’s simply a Saturday night popcorn experience at its core, and I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it at times. The one-liners and Dwayne Johnson one-man wrecking crew is classic Bruce Willis in his heyday, which I certainly could appreciate and the destruction would make Roland Emmerich (“Independence Day,” “2012”) proud.

The supporting cast is highlighted by Malin Akerman and Jake Lacy as the siblings, Joe Manganiello as the gung-ho mercenary sent to kill the animals (he fails), and most notably Jeffrey Dean Morgan as the overacting Texas-drawling cowboy who mysteriously works for the OGA (other government agency). His character is ridiculous, but tries to pull off a boyish charm that just doesn’t quite work. It’s a fun role, but clearly demonstrates severe overacting and is almost a distraction in itself.

Director Brad Peyton (several past Dwayne Johnson films, the upcoming “San Andreas 2”) is clearly adept at action. He partners with a foursome of writers who all have ties to each other (and Dwayne) from past and future projects too numerous to list. My point is, it’s a team that is reinventing the wheel time and time again, using an action hero archetype that is frankly getting old. Unfortunately, my admission ticket simply helps perpetuate the cycle, and will prove that if it makes money, it’s worth doing over and over. I have a feeling this one will underwhelm despite favorable projections, however, with a certain film coming out in two weeks that will absolutely decimate box offices all around the world. Good for the theatre business (and Marvel/Disney). Bad for all other movies coming out in April.

Preposterous in every way, this idea that genetic editing can evolve a creature significantly within minutes just adds to the playful mood. The action gets a bit more violent than one would expect, as there are more human casualties on-screen than necessary, but the three monsters are fun, violent, and primal. Dwayne is once again superhuman, achieving what the entire might of the US military fails to accomplish, but that’s the nature of an action hero. Move over Bruce, Arnold, and Sly; Dwayne is the king of the silver screen. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he becomes the highest grossing star of all-time by the time his career is over. 6/10.

Super Troopers 2

The French-Canadian comedy of the year is finally here! Picking up where the misadventures of the Broken Lizard comedy troupe left off in 2001’s “Super Troopers,” the five Vermont highway patrolmen are once again breaking the law for the sake of laughs, while protecting and serving the stoner crowd with sharp humor and witty repartee. the original has developed a strong cult following over the years with their unique brand of improvisational whimsy and refreshing originality. Much like “The Kids in the Hall” or “Monty Python,” the film thrives on the energy of the ensemble and their inside jokes that the viewer somehow feels privy to.

Nearly 20 years after the original film (has it really been that long?), we find the five former cops still getting together to engage in lewd behavior. This time however, they have all moved on from law enforcement due to what is vaguely referenced as “the Fred Savage incident.” It’s alright though as none of them really took the law very seriously in the first place. They are fun-loving guys more interested in pulling pranks than fighting crime. This time around, they are recruited for a special job as the Vermont/Canadian border is in dispute, and it’s time to bring some good, old-fashioned America to our neighbors to the north.

Directed by the leader of the troupe, Jay Chandrasekhar, the film is basically a rehashing of the original with one very noticeable difference (more of that to come). It’s fascinating to see how little the men have changed since 2001, and honestly, it made me feel pretty old while rekindling some serious nostalgia. There are more references to jokes in the original than I could count, it almost seemed like an homage to its predecessor at times. It may have been a cult classic, but it wasn’t that good. Additionally, the cameos increased significantly. From Seann William Scott, to Rob Lowe, and yes, Fred Savage. Fans of the original came out of the woodwork to contribute, and it absolutely added fuel to the good-time vibe.

Same shenanigans, new chicanery. The show is stolen by the trio of Canadian Mounties, played by Hayes MacArthur, Will Sasso, and Tyler Labine. Every scene they are in is an exaggeration of stereotypes and accents, but admittedly, it is completely hilarious and justifies a viewing for this aspect alone. The one thing that threw me off was thinking that Hayes MacArthur was a well-disguised Johnny Knoxville through the whole movie, and I suppose that made the whole experience even richer.

Some might say Rob Lowe is the highlight, and although it is funny seeing him play a brothel-owning, former semi-pro-hockey-player-turned mayor of a small Canadian town, and seeing him use a dangling male genitalia as a speedbag is a once-in-a-lifetime cinematic experience, he’s been better (“Parks and Rec”). That said, his addition is a nice touch.

There is a clear emphasis placed on the antagonist of the group, the ostracized and oft-maligned officer Rod Farva (Kevin Heffernan). He is pure, unfiltered, inappropriate, juvenile humor, and I for one found it delightful. He epitomizes what the troupe intends to deliver at its most extreme and although all five men contribute different strengths, Heffernan is the catalyst of the comedy.

Stay through the credits to find out about the infamous “Fred Savage incident” that cost them their jobs, and I guarantee if you enjoyed the original, you will have a good time with the sequel. I think expectations for comedy follow-ups are held to a slightly lower standard than other genres, so for that I will give it a stronger recommendation than I might otherwise. It’s rude, quirky, but all in good fun, meow. For a raunchy comedy, it delivers like chips in poutine. 7/10.

Ready Player One

Ernest Cline’s dystopian pop-culture phenomenon was destined to be adapted to film from the start. The only question was how to translate such an imaginative and fantastical virtual reality world into a tangible, visual display. The answer is simple; enlist Steven Spielberg, one of the greatest science fiction directors of all-time. Granted, he’s been on hiatus from the genre since 2005, but he makes fun sci-fi films, and this is absolutely mind-blowing in its visual indulgence.

Wade Watts (Tye Sheridan) lives in impoverished obscurity in Ohio in a bleak future society in which everyone escapes life by entering the OASIS, an online virtual-reality universe where everything and anything is possible. When the founder of the universe suddenly dies, a treasure hunt for keys to his kingdom ensues. The winner of the hunt is bequeathed the ultimate power to play God in the OASIS, and will inherit a windfall of cash beyond imagination. Wade navigates the treasure hunt with his immense wealth of 1980’s pop culture knowledge to embark on the hunt he’s been preparing for his whole life.

Steven Spielberg went on record as saying he thought he was too old to take on a project this culturally iconic. What he failed to realize is that he’s a cultural icon himself, and this film drags him tooth and nail back to his roots; science-fiction. There are noticeable Spielbergisms embedded in the film, mostly in the form of the playful mood and nonchalant story ark navigational devices. He spun the tone to a much more optimistic approach than the novel, and you know what? It worked.

I saw this film in 3D, not my typical preference, but I thought this might be appropriate for something like this. I’m not sure it was the best idea as there is so much happening on the screen that it’s hard to keep up at times. You almost have to just sit back and enjoy the ride, although there are tiny details planted everywhere on the screen that activate the deepest recesses of ADD in anyone watching. It’s captivating, and at almost two and a half hours, it’s epic and exhausting. But in a good way.

The film itself is beautiful, but the world takes some time to warm up to the senses. It’s almost as if you’re putting on the haptic suits and VR goggles yourself, and you have to orient yourself in this new overwhelming universe. I can see why post-production must have been a visual effects artist’s biggest fantasy and worst nightmare at the same time. Much like 2008’s “Avatar,” the film takes place primarily in this alternative universe that transcends the typical rules of physics and sometimes logic. It’s mesmerizing, but manages to stay grounded, conveying an almost realistic vibe.

The novel. I’ve read the novel maybe five times over the years, as a read-aloud to my students, and due to my own 1980’s pop culture fandom and curiosity. Those expecting a recreation of the novel will be severely disappointed. And pleasantly surprised. Let me explain. The novel is impossible to adapt due to the sheer enormity of the universe, but also due to the absurd number of copyright, licensing, and branding rights of all the items referenced in the book. Warner Bros. has a pretty impressive library itself, so there are new additions of King Kong, “The Shining,” Batman, and a plethora of lesser known, but recognizable characters that will make you giddy (Chucky was a nice touch). This required a rewrite of the plot, which Zak Penn (several superhero films) and Ernest Cline did very admirably.

It truly felt like I was watching a revisionist version of the novel with very familiar characters, themes, and references, but the newness made it exciting and fresh. The acting is fine; mostly motion capture, but strong performances by Mark Rylance and Ben Mendelsohn and the genius billionaire recluse, and egomaniacal antagonist, respectively. Overall, Spielberg did a better job than I expected, and the film exceeded my expectations simply because it strayed from the source material enough, but not too much. Great, entertaining film, but I would recommend reading the book first. 8/10.

Pacific Rim: Uprising

As much as I admire the grandeur of the idea, isn’t there an easier way to battle giant monsters than to use giant robots? Maybe make a giant missile and shoot it from a giant launcher? Or better yet, a giant bear trap sprung by a giant piece of cheese? I don’t know, I don’t buy the concept, but on paper, it’s a fantastic idea. If you can get beyond the awful dialogue, the absurd story, the cheesy music, and the over-acting, the special effects are kind of cool. That’s simply not enough though.

John Boyega and Scott Eastwood headline the B-list cast as Jaeger pilots brought back to drive their big robots a mere ten years after the events of the original “Pacific Rim.” We are given a quick and dirty recap, which is nice, but if you didn’t see the original and are seeing the sequel, you will be disappointed. Come to think of it, if you did see the original, you will be disappointed even more. Boyega plays Jake Pentecost, the rowdy son of legendary pilot Stacker Pentecost (Idris Elba). He is the carbon copy of “Pacific Rim’s” Raleigh Becket (Charlie Hunnam) in that he’s a bit roguish, has problems with authority, but somehow is still the best and most revered pilot in the fleet. This time around, the creative liberties around the monsters goes overboard, and we find our Jaeger pilots (including a bunch of untrained teens) battling the King Kong of Kaiju, off the charts in terms of size.

Director Steven S. DeKnight has made the leap from television directly to a tent pole blockbuster and it shows. The film abounds with nonsense, frivolous details, and glitzy action scenes that actually diminish any semblance of narrative that the story might have had in pre-production. It’s a miserable failure on his part, but he’s not entirely to blame. The five-person writing team dropped the ball by any cinematic standard. The acting can’t be faulted as much as the weak, vapid characters that are derivative at best. They have pretty cool names though.

Guillermo Del Toro’s name is all over the film, but he’s merely a consultant collecting producer’s pay. The fact that Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures dropped this on Universal’s plate should indicate that there either isn’t full confidence in the franchise, or they just don’t have room on their plates for it to continue. I say franchise because it is pretty clear that the “Pacific Rim” series will continue on, probably with an Asian target market, but for the audience sake, I hope they put a bankable actor and a viable story on the table first.

“Pacific Rim: Uprising” had potential. I actually enjoyed the original for what it was, and the cast, although not as strong in the name recognition department, are decent actors in their own rights. The difference as it so often is with sequels, is the lack of capitalization on the strengths of the franchise, and a genuine absence of originality in the writing.

Rarely do I fail to recommend a film to any demographic, but “Pacific Rim: Uprising” is simply unwatchable. It’s not only disappointing and weak, it’s inexcusable. There are enough filters in the film making process that someone should have stood up and said “wait a minute, this is terrible!” but nobody did. For that, I give the film one of the lowest ratings I’ve ever given. That said, I will still go see “Pacific Rim 3: Revenge of the Return of the Ridiculous Robots.” 3/10.