Ted 2

Seth McFarlane is very funny. Irreverent and unfiltered, but funny. He made a name for himself with Family Guy and its spinoffs, and now is the undisputed king of adult animated comedy. A poorly reviewed hosting gig at the Oscars has him now struggling to maintain a foothold in film after the monster success of Ted in 2012 and the shameful follow-up, A Million Ways to Die in the West.

Ted 2 conveniently cuts Mila Kunis from the story, but picks up where we left off otherwise. John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) is still the lovable stoner with a talking teddy bear aptly named Ted (Seth McFarlane) by his side. This time around, Ted gets married, and finds himself in Constitutional limbo as to his status in America. Is he a human, or property. The tandem of crude buddies enlist young attorney, Sam L. Jackson (Amanda Seyfried) to defend his right to be a human while the honcho at Hasbro has other plans.

When the whole plot can be run down in a paragraph, there isn't much left to say. The story is shallow and conflicted. The original Ted was great because it was light and funny, without any pretense of having a moral platform. Ted 2 tries to stick its nose into a satirical soapbox on the state of civil rights in our country. It just doesn't fit. Dred Scott, the Emancipation Proclamation, and the 13th Amendment have no place in a film like this, which is simply unfortunate. I get what McFarlane was thinking, but if you're going to go down this road, you have to do it with conviction, not half-heartedly.

Are there funny moments? Sure. Wahlberg is a very talented comedic actor (see The Other Guys), and some of the material pushes the limits, which is to be expected from McFarlane. Perhaps the best scene is also the most inappropriate, when John and Ted are heckling improv actors with sadness. It's hysterical, but it stands out in Ted 2 because it's truly the only moment that crosses the line (for some) in the way that this film needs to. There are only so many fart jokes, stupid plot points that lead to a weak one-liner, or sequences that are completely out of place that a film can deliver before it is just plain boring. Giovanni Ribisi, you are way too natural in your creepster role. Back it off a little bit or we will start to wonder about you for real.

The cameos are even a bit too much of an inside joke. It's as if McFarlane assembled his favorites including Patrick Warburton, Tom Brady, and Sam Jones, to bask in the presence of his own personal heroes. The lone exception is Liam Neeson in a totally random, yet beautifully executed scene. It works because it finds the commitment that the rest of the film lacks. The scene goes on just a bit too long, which is perfect, and I wish McFarlane had taken the time to do more of.

Ted 2 goes through the motions with the endgame of a box office smash in mind. Unfortunately, it won't find the success of the original due to the disappointing product. Will it make money? Sure. Will there be a Ted 3? I hope not, but wouldn't bet against it. Seth, if you are reading this, take another look at the improv scene. This is comedy gold, and it's your wheelhouse. Hire a writer for the rest of the story, and stick to the single scenes. Trust me, it's for the best. 4/10.

Inside Out

Animated films have come a long way since the early days of Disney. Toy Story reinvented the game back in 1995 with advancements in computer generated imagery, and Pixar has been making increasingly clever and complex films ever since.

Inside Out starts with the birth of Riley, a cute little girl in Minnesota born to two loving parents. With her birth is also the birth of her emotional control center, and Joy is all she knows, so Joy (voiced by Amy Poehler) is all alone. She begins her job of activating the child, and capturing and storing memories in a complex world that is imaginative and full of quirky characters. As the child grows, Joy is joined in the control room by Sadness, Disgust, Anger, and Fear. Joy is the leader, as evidenced by the happy nature of Riley, and the film does a nice job of toning down the other emotions so that Joy can be on center stage. She builds different areas of her mind that are constantly fed by daily memories such as goofiness, hockey (her passion), family, and friends. Core memories are the nuggets of gold though. They are the big ones. First hockey goal, family time, laughing with friends. These are the ones that stick, and they are the important ones to fuel her emotional stability.

Riley moves from Minnesota to San Francisco, and for an eleven year old, that comes with lots of emotional upheaval. The five emotions experience their own problems because of this change (and because they are running an eleven year old), and Joy and Sadness find themselves lost in the labyrinth of long-term memories, relying on an imaginary friend named Bing Bong to help them find their way back to the control center to put things right.

Anyone who knows eleven year olds knows that anger, fear, and disgust can easily overcome feelings of joy and sadness, even in the most unlikely of circumstances. But it’s recognizing the right emotion for the right circumstance that leads to resolution. Will the emotions put things right before it’s too late? Will they save Riley?

The studio returns to Pete Docter, the Oscar-winning writer/director of Monsters, Inc. and Up, as well as the writer of the Toy Story franchise. He’s created an absolute gem in the personification of the human emotions in what many are saying is the best Pixar film yet. The many are correct and there are a number of reasons why.

First off, Pixar films have decidedly adult themes that tug at the heartstrings while presenting images and characters that kids find endearing and cute. Take Up for example. The old man is a curmudgeon with huge eyebrows and a funny brown suit, but he’s a deeply complex character once you get past the surface. Inside Out will resonate with adults more than with kids due to the multi-faceted layers and ingenious visual depiction of human emotions. Kids might not recognize the nuance of disgust or anger, but they will appreciate the green sarcastic Mindy Kaling, or the volatile red fireball voiced by Lewis Black. Pixar has a history of pulling this off better than the more kid-centric Disney animated films, and this is no exception.

Films with an ensemble of main characters tend to do well with audiences. Pixar knows this and creates five starkly different personalities that are complemented by the ridiculous Bing Bong and the variety of characters that Joy and Sadness meet along their journey. The humans are always background noise, and although Riley is simply the vehicle that the entire movie takes place in, there is something about her that is relatable. Everyone was eleven once, and this pseudo-scientific explanation for absurd and erratic behavior is beyond comforting, it is therapeutic.

I work with eleven year olds, and I’m going to make this film part of our social and emotional development curriculum once it hits DVD. It’s that good. It’s the kind of movie that will open up conversations between parents and children that will lead to deep understanding and meaning. This is the kind of movie that is an opportunity for reflection and growth. It’s cute, it’s fun, but more importantly, it’s relevant. Inside Out is a cerebral animated film that adults might enjoy even more than the kids. It really is the best Pixar film to date. 9/10.

Jurassic World

There’s a new apex predator on Isla Nublar, and it’s not the T-Rex. Or the Velociraptor. Nope, it’s Chris Pratt. Starlord himself has found another massive blockbuster to attach himself to, and with rumors of being the next Indiana Jones swirling, and him currently filming the Magnificent Seven reboot (or reimagining) to add “Western” to his conquests, I think it’s safe to say that he is here to stay.

Pratt plays Owen, an ex-Navy man who is training raptors like dogs with a clicker and treats. Not likely, but it presents him as the alpha right off the bat, and a likeable and humble hero who appreciates the dinosaurs and respects them perhaps more than anyone else on the island.

Jurassic World takes us 22 years after the potential disaster that was narrowly averted in Jurassic Park. The kinks have been worked out, or so Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) and her team of scientists, security, and amusement park ride operators think. Claire’s two nephews come to the island for a visit in hopes of repairing a seemingly hollow relationship between Claire and her sister (Judy Greer). The original film is mentioned with tongue-in-cheek humor throughout, so there is the constant undertone of “Caution: Hungry Dinosaurs” looming as the characters fall deeper and deeper into the mistakes of their predecessors. The lesson here? You can’t mess too much with Mother Nature. Obviously.

The park visitors have an insatiable appetite for bigger, badder, meaner beasties. Management is cooking up new ideas for attractions every year to keep the masses coming, and with bigger and badder comes more dangerous. They make a hybrid of T-Rex and mystery meat called the Indominus Rex, which we’re never made totally privy to its ingredients, but are given some hints along the way. Let’s just say this dinosaur is the Beast Mode of the reptile kingdom, and it has no match. What happens to a dinosaur that is too big, mean, smart, and hungry to be contained? Rhetorical question. It obviously goes on a rampage. As the visitors and other dinosaurs run for their lives, it is up to one man, yep, Chris Pratt… I mean Owen, to take down the beast and save the day.

What’s great is that my generation reveled in the magic of the original Jurassic Park back in 1993, and the magic from 22 years ago is still there. And there is a whole new generation that gets to experience it for the first time. This is the type of film that lasts because it has universal appeal. There is a reason that Jurassic Park grossed over a billion dollars worldwide. It is monumental and important. Audiences want to be frightened, they want to be entertained, and dinosaurs are just cool. Compared with the original, the special effects are even more mind-blowing, the pacing of the film is even faster, and the reptiles are less on display to inspire awe as they are for fear this time around. Jurassic World has a tough act to follow, but it does about as good as could be expected.

Jake Johnson provides the perfect comic relief and one-liners as the control room operator with an awful mustache and an even worse personality. He’s working with director Colin Trevorrow for the second time after 2012’s independent quirk fest, “Safety Not Guaranteed”. Trevorrow is a surprise pick for such a high profile film, but he delivers the goods like a seasoned veteran. A lot of the action is fast-paced and frenetic, as you would expect from any CGI-laden blockbuster, but the actors seem to integrate with the dinosaurs remarkably well.

The coolest part of Jurassic World is by far the untapped underwater aspect of prehistory, the Mosasaurs, which is just plain cool. It takes the franchise to a whole other level, and although unfortunately some of the magic is spoiled in the previews, it is still satisfying on the big screen. I think it’s safe to say that this is the most fun I’ve had in a non-post-apocalyptic landscape this year. 8/10.

Spy

Melissa McCarthy and Paul Feig are back together for the third time (Bridesmaids, The Heat) and will give us a fourth pairing with 2016's female Ghostbusters reboot/sequel. They have been pretty successful as Bridesmaids and The Heat brought in and $290 million and $230 million respectively, worldwide. Hey, if something works, don't mess with it.

Spy takes us into the world of the CIA with a stellar cast including Jason Statham and Jude Law as the James Bond field agents, Allison Janney as the director, and Rose Byrne as the femme fatale. McCarthy plays Susan Cooper, an under-appreciated agent support staff member who has a huge crush on Bradley Fine (Law), and has been helping him get out of jams for years through high tech spy gadgetry. When Fine is killed, and the identities of all the agents are compromised, Susan finally gets her shot to get in the field and save the day from a portable nuclear bomb.

The plot isn't so much interesting as it's a vehicle for setting up some pretty funny sequences and spans of dialogue. McCarthy is funny. This is a much better showing than that of Tammy, Identity Thief, or even The Heat. Spy offers up some smart humor and doesn't dumb down McCarthy or placate to the lowest possible viewer. There's something a bit more human to the self-deprecating fat jokes and physical comedy that Melissa McCarthy exudes as opposed to say, Rebel Wilson, or any of the men who have taken ownership of that characteristic. It's somehow less in-your-face, and her natural comedic talent takes the center stage. It's definitely part of the buffet, but it's not the main course if you know what I mean.

This is far and away Jason Statham's best performance to date. He is hilarious, and I would dare say that him and McCarthy sitting on stage with James Lipton having drinks would be enough for me to pay the admission fee. Their banter is so absolutely natural, and his character is an absolute buffoon, but a suave and somehow likeable alpha male. He is given the green light to one-up everyone in a hysterical and absurd manner, though it's totally normal to him. His anger and machismo top off his personality, and the scene of him volunteering to us the "face-off machine" is priceless.

The rest of the cast look like they are having fun. It's good to see Jude Law and Jason Statham dip into comedy, and Allison Janney is given some great zingers. The jury is still out on Rose Byrne in my book. She's funny in a supporting role kind of way, but I don't see her carrying a comedy. Her character, the Paris Hilton/Dr. Evil Russian vamp is a bit much, and I would have been more satisfied with any ethnicity other than Russian. Contrary to what spy thrillers tell you, not all super-villains are Russian. There is a lot of lost potential with her role.

There are some fun moments and great opportunities for some raunchy jokes, but the bulk of the humor is given away in the trailers. Why do comedies do that? Spy is a funny movie. Funnier than anything else out there right now, at least until Ted 2 comes out. 7/10.

Entourage

The show that started in 2004 and ran for 8 seasons has finally reached its end. Or has it? With a reported production budget of just $30 million, and domestic gross of nearly $20 million in its first weekend, a continued success may lead to a… sequel? I kind of hope not.

The basic premise is based on Mark Wahlberg’s experiences as he entered stardom status some twenty years ago. Entourage the show follows a rising star (or in the case of the film, a superstar) and his band of hangers-on; his older half-brother, his childhood best friend, and another friend as they navigate the excess and pitfalls of Hollywood.

Adrian Grenier plays Vincent Chase, a movie star mourning/celebrating the end of his Hollywood marriage (a week). His crew jet boat out to his yacht in Ibiza where there are scantily clad women dancing (some not even clad) and they show the audience right off the bat the kind of lifestyle they have accrued together over the last fifteen years. A big difference between the show and the film is that the excitement of new money and new celebrity has faded. All four of them have become accustomed to this life, and that takes away a big part of the vicarious appeal (at least for me).

Vincent is embarking on his directorial debut, a $100 million passion project, much to the chagrin of his agent, Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven). Ari is the centerpiece of the Entourage franchise; his flamboyant, ruthless personality drives the whole Entourage vehicle and injects the humor and soul that it needs to survive. He also is given the brunt of the clever dialogue, and he delivers them so naturally that you actually believe his character might actually exist somewhere in Tinseltown.

The other three members of Vinnie’s crew have their own lives keeping them busy. Eric (Kevin Connelly), Vincent’s best friend and manager has a pregnant ex-girlfriend, a bevy of beautiful women throwing themselves at him, and an ongoing love/hate relationship with Ari. His character just isn’t that interesting, and never has been. The storyline of his estranged baby mama lacks conviction, so consequently it’s hard to care.

Turtle (Jerry Ferrara) is a success story in his own right. Having lost a considerable amount of weight and amassed an undisclosed fortune through a tequila investment with Mark Cuban, the writer’s aren’t shy about making biggest loser jokes throughout the whole film, and his fling with Ronda Rousey is entertaining, but isn’t given enough time to actually develop.
Johnny Drama (Kevin Dillon), plays the older, far less successful Hollywood supporting player burnout half-brother of Vince. A bit of verisimilitude as he’s the slightly younger brother of the more successful Matt Dillon in real life. His character is probably the most entertaining besides Piven’s Ari. He is foul-mouthed, inappropriate, blunt to the point of being awkward, but it is somehow endearing and really defines the foursome at their cores.

The newcomers to the film are Billy Bob Thornton and Haley Joel Osment as a rich Texan father/son producer team who meddle too much in their investment. Osment is great in an unlikely role, and plays the antagonist with a sweet Texan charm that simply suits him.

Doug Ellin is the writer, screenwriter, director, and producer of the series and the show. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one person’s names so many times in the opening credits of a film. I lost count at 4. He has obviously created a successful idea, and marketed it to the point of near exhaustion, but I am curious if he has anything else left in him, or if his legacy will be the world of Entourage and that’s it. Bully for him, because it has created a significant net worth for him in any case.

The lifestyles of the rich and famous is what makes Entourage fun. Dozens of cameos complete the Hollywood experience, but there simply isn’t any story. Or any measurable semblance of a plot. I felt like I binge-watched four straight episodes of the show, and the final one happened to be a season finale.

It’s a trip down memory lane if you were a fan of the show, and if you’re watching the film, you likely are. Just don’t expect anything more than an inflated episode filled with boobs and cameos. 6/10.

San Andreas

It's been awhile since there was a good disaster movie. And we're still waiting. San Andreas reeks of Roland Emmerich, but surprisingly, it's directed by kids movie sequel star Brad Peyton (Cats and Dogs 2, Journey 2). It's written by TV veteran Carlton Cuse (Bates Motel, Lost, Nash Bridges) and their lack of cinematic blockbuster experience is very clear.

Let me give you a rundown of the plot. Action scene proving our protagonist is a hero with a big heart and sharp wit. Dysfunctional family dynamics, but the love is still there. Crazy genius scientist who nobody listens to, who has a breakthrough in his research at the perfect time. Shady millionaire stepfather. Insanely gorgeous daughter leaving home for college. Hero is forced to choose his family over his job (which happens to be helicopter rescue). Millions of people die and we don't really care, because it's all about the main characters. The hero is forced to relive and overcome a past tragedy, and an American flag is unfurled at the end to signify the strength of the survivors. Come on.

A massive earthquake on the San Andreas fault is inevitable, and even perhaps overdue, but I just didn't have the feeling of satisfaction from this film that I did from, say, Independence Day. Alien invasions are cool because they aren't realistic. It's the way that zombies are fun and exciting because it could never really happen. A realistic disaster film is a bit more uncomfortable.

Why can't we have a disaster movie in North Korea, or Afghanistan? I would pay to see the Taliban, or Al Qaeda, or ISIS get devastated by an earthquake or a tsunami, or global warming, or even a giant mutant lizard. Then we could send in the Marines disguised as the Red Cross. My point is, disaster movies are thrilling, but I think there has been a desensitization effect where we see countless innocent people killed in frightening and perilous ways and it just isn't striking a nerve anymore. The movies justify the carnage as long as our hero is able to save his wife and daughter, because after all, his family is what counts. But the greater issue for me is that it just isn't shocking anymore, and I think that's starting to bother me a little bit.

Taking cues from Cliffhanger and Roland Emmerich (if you didn't catch the reference earlier, he's behind Independence Day, Godzilla, 2012, The Day After Tomorrow, The Patriot, White House Down - he's basically the Steven Spielberg of disaster films), San Andreas lacks so much originality that it's almost unable to enjoy. Almost.

The Rock, who now goes by his birth name, Dwayne Johnson, shines as our protagonist. He is a full-blown action star who rocks everything he does. His character isn't given enough depth to screw it up anyway, so flex those muscles and flash that million-dollar grin (or $150,000,000 but who's counting). Loving dad, good guy, still in love with his impending ex-wife. He's a true blue-blooded hero with his football and wrestling pedigree and that works for the character. And his physique is ridiculous. He's what Arnold Schwarzenegger would have been in the 80's and 90's if he didn't have that damn Austrian accent (and Arnold did just fine for himself). He is the popcorn blockbuster action star of today, hands down. He's rumored to be Jack Burton in the reboot of Big Trouble in Little China, and that might be a brilliant future cult classic if they do it right. I'm very curious as the original holds a special place in my 9 year old heart.

The only other enjoyable part of San Andreas is the rising starlet, Alexandra Daddario. She's almost too good looking to be in movies in my opinion. It might be her eyes, or her body, but for a 29 year old to be playing a 43 year old's 18-year old daughter, that's impressive, even by Hollywood standards. She slowly loses articles of clothing over the course of the film, which was likely intentional and highly effective. Since her brief appearance in True Detective, she had graduated from playing a teen to an adult. It's a bit weird that she regressed, but she'll be around for awhile. Hopefully playing some more mature roles.

The rest of the cast is average at best. Paul Giamatti in an overdone performance, Carla Gugino and Ioan Gruffud make background noise as the other two pieces of the love triangle. The film isn't terrible, but it is massively formulaic. Being one step ahead of the story is never satisfying, even when the special effects are pretty cool. I guess I am just tired of seeing major landmarks destroyed and lives tossed away left and right. The film isn't supposed to be about eye candy and predictability, it's supposed to be about disaster and overcoming the odds. I just wish more of the characters overcame those odds. Skip this one. It's the kind of movie that would be great to stumble across late at night on HBO to battle insomnia. 5/10.