Fifty Shades of Grey

Maybe it was premature of me to turn down the role of Christian Grey. I mean, we're both Seattlites, both in the 25-40 year old demographic, both incredibly good-looking self-made billionaires. Okay, I'm not a self-made billionaire, but other than that, I'm pretty much a doppelganger. My thinking was that I would devastate a few dozen million women around the world if I took the role, but it turns out that Jamie Dornan did a pretty good job of that himself.

It was only a matter of time before E.L. James' mommy-porn sensation was adapted to film. You would be hard pressed to find someone who doesn't live under a rock who hasn't heard of the scintillating best-selling trilogy, but I'll try to sum it up. Christian Grey is a 27 year old billionaire bachelor with a dirty sexual secret. Anastasia Steele is a virginal college graduate who falls into his web of debauchery, and the tables of power slowly turn in this classic Dominant meets Submissive tale. As she falls deeper into the dark world of Christian Grey's particular interests, and he falls under her innocent spell, they struggle to understand each other and both try desperately to get what they want. Will either of them win? Will either of them change? Read the whole trilogy to find out.

The rumor mill started flying as soon as the adaptation was announced, with director Sam Taylor-Johnson attached. She knows a thing or two about kinky sexual deviance by the way. She's currently 47, married to 24 year old Aaron Taylor-Johnson (together for 5 years - you do the math). Anyhow, there were dozens of names floated to play the roles, some more high profile than others (Emma Watson, Ian Somerhalder). Charlie Hunnan of Sons of Anarchy fame was attached for a bit, but dropped out due to a scheduling conflict. Enter Jamie Dornan. the Irishman took on the role and did a remarkably good job filling the ripped jeans of the iconic literary Lothario. Anastasia on the other hand, had to be someone without many inhibitions, and Dakota Johnson (Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith's daughter) quickly filled the role. She has gone on the record as telling her parents not to see the film, but what about the other fifty million Americans who will likely see it? That's dedication to her craft.

I must diverge at this point into two distinctive reviews. One, critiquing the film for its artfulness, the dialogue and story for quality, and the direction and acting on their own merits. This review won't be kind. The second however, is comparing and contrasting the film adaptation to its source material, and I have to say, I was impressed. Not a huge fan of erotica, I have to think that the translation must be uncomfortable, especially with a "Red Room of Pain" and countless "Laters, Baby" comments. Oh my. The film far exceeded my expectations, which were admittedly pretty low, and although predictable (lots of sex) it was done perhaps more tastefully than the story demanded (not very graphic sex). Rumor has it that Taylor-Johnson was pushing for an NC-17 rating, and the actors had to do re-shoots of some of the more intimate scenes because the emotions weren't convincing enough for her. The BDSM aspect (Bondage, Domination, Sadism, Masochism) takes a way back seat to the tension of the two characters and the undercurrents of a twisted love fantasy story. For fans of the rough stuff, you will likely be disappointed.

Lambasting the story would be too easy. The characters as well. They are idealized versions of the gender-specific sex symbols America has put upon society. He is ridiculously rich, confident, and demanding almost to the point of sexual assault. She is young, naive, virginal, and submissive. It reminds me of a film from 2002 called Secretary with James Spader and an up and coming Maggie Gyllenhaal. The controversy of the taboo sexual predilection of domination and submission is admittedly difficult to portray on the screen without some amount of discomfort, but honestly, Taylor-Johnson makes it pretty steamy and appealing despite the obvious character defects.

The follow-ups will certainly be made (50 Shades Darker, 50 Shades Freed) due to the impending box office victory. I overheard a couple of single women behind me gasping in the theatre, and immediately got out their cell phones to call their friends and tell them that they "Have to see it!" This will be the Titanic all over again, but without openly telling your friends you're seeing it a dozen times. Not me, but people I know. I only saw it twice. Fifty is carving a nice little niche for itself in cinema history, but the true question is if Dakota and Jamie (or Jamie's wife) are interested in riding this train for a few more years.

The actors do have good on-screen chemistry, although Dakota Johnson does most of the heavy lifting, and all of the nude work. Obviously the naysayers will condemn the film for its blatant message debasing young women, but come on people, this is erotica. Worse films have been made, and worse messages have been sent.

Ultimately, it is exactly what you would expect from a film of this nature. A rare instance where the film exceeds the book. The sex scenes are tastefully done, and the characters have more depth than the book intimates, particularly Anastasia Steele. I would have liked to have seen a bit more from the supporting cast, but when you order a steak, you don't complain about the asparagus on the side, right? You know you're curious, Fifty Shades will satisfy. Happy Valentine's Day. 7/10.