White House Down

White House Down serves up a heaping portion of Die Hard meets Air Force One. You would expect someone like John McTiernan (who's currently in jail) or Wolfgang Peterson to be the one behind such an antiquated action film, but no. It's Roland Emmerich (2012, Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow, Godzilla, The Patriot...) Roland is the Michael Bay of disaster films, mixing bad acting, horrible dialogue, preposterously elaborate special effects sequences, and emotionally vapid resolution. We love him because he is an artistic demolition man at heart. There are plenty of explosions, none more impressive than the dome of the Capitol building coming down (which you can see in the previews), but the problem is that this film is intended as more than that. I could tell that Roland wanted a little bit of buddy comedy, a little bit of terrorist action, a little bit of family drama, and of course some catastrophe. The problem is that with all of these elements, what you get is a chunky bowl of crap stew.

The film starts with an introduction to Channing Tatum's burnout Capitol police officer who is trying to impress his estranged daughter while interviewing for the Secret Service. Don't even get me started on the film's flaws regarding the Office of Personnel Management and procuring a federal law enforcement job. Anyway, while on a tour of the white house, it is taken over in an identical method as in March's Olympus has Fallen. In fact, the entire movie eerily follows Olympus has Fallen. Oh, except they use Delta Force instead of Seal Team Six in the depressing helicopter-being-shot-down-by-unexpected-rockets-scene. And it's a little girl instead of a little boy. Reminds me of the Armageddon/Deep Impact rivalry, but this is less exciting. Channing John McClain's his way to the President while trying to save his daughter and stop the bad guys from total nuclear annihilation of the Middle East. There's no witty banter though, and definitely no yippee kiyay moment.

It's been done. Maybe not this same way, and I don't blame the writers. The script is terrible and even a bit embarrassing at times, but I don't blame the writers. They got paid to create a story. No, I blame the producers for this one, who greenlit the project in the first place. Shame on you Mythology, Iron Horse, and Centropolis. Of course, the studios are the ones who will ultimately pay the price, as the opening weekend only brought in a dismal and disappointing $25 million. With a budget of $150 million, this one might end up in the red.

Anyway, my problem is twofold. Channing Tatum is wasted on this. He's given a few opportunities to show a bit of character depth, but it never materializes. His surrounding cast is weak, particularly his daughter (played by Joey King in a role she'll wish she had back in about 10 years). Tatum is a bonafide action star. He's got the physical presence, martial arts moves, and even a rugged yet handsome look. I liked him in GI Joe, and I liked him in this (I also liked him in 21 Jump Street and Magic Mike - don't judge). His talent is utterly wasted. His daughter is made out to be a cyber rebel genius because she has a smart phone and posts videos to Youtube. What year is this, Roland? 1988? WHD would have been an awesome, maybe even stellar film in the late 80's, but this is the 40th incarnation of the same thing and you're 30 years too late.

My second problem is with the tightrope job that Roland conveys of realistic events and and pure lunacy. PICK ONE! I don't want to follow Constitutional adherence followed by a military breakdown a la The Rock. And when did 8 minutes take a half hour? I digress. I realize that sometimes liberties have to be taken to create suspense, move the story along, or introduce a plot twist of some sort. The issue I have is when the poor decisions lead to a dead end.

Maggie Gyllenhaal is solid as one of the Secret Service higher ups who happens to avoid being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and serves as Channing's Al (the cop on the phone to John McClaine in Die Hard). She is one of the voices of reason, and although not given much to do besides give a concerned look and talk on the phone, she's one of the bright spots in the film.

Jamie Foxx goes through the motions as the President. His agenda is somewhat symbolic of the overall message of the film; peace. He plays a pseudo-Obama, a man who didn't do military service who is suddenly thrust into major decisions about foreign conflict. He is portrayed as very weak, and even when he has to fight for his life, he's pretty ineffective. I suppose that's the character, but I never felt any

Jason Clarke and Richard Jenkins are great. Jason Clarke is the Hans Gruber, or more accurately, the Karl. He's the muscle of the bad guys, and I really like him in military-type roles; good or bad. He was exceptional in Zero Dark Thirty as the CIA interrogator, and he is in prime form here as well. Again, he's given a subservient role, so a series of bad decisions by his boss lead to his looking like a buffoon. I'm interested in one of his next projects titled Candy Store with De Niro and Christoph Waltz in a Steven Gaghan project. Should be good. Richard Jenkins plays the Speaker of the House who is thrust into unwanted power during the whole crisis, and conveniently, he has a relationship with Channing. He plays it with a straight face, and I'm glad he got his paycheck.

As you certainly realize by now, this was a terrible film. I got upset at some of the character decisions, and the Government's handling of the whole thing. I do wonder however, how this film would have done 30 years ago. It would have been controversial, cutting edge in special effects, and generally accepted by the masses. Think Independence Day box office success. WHD is simply not right for 2013. I can't believe it cost $150 million. Did they actually blow up the Capitol? Skip it. There are plenty of good action films out there now (Star Trek, Superman, WWZ). In fact, if you're beating the heat in the nice air conditioned theatre, see a comedy. The Internship, This is the End, and The Heat are all refreshingly funny and entertaining. White House Down? Two thumbs down. 4/10.