The Thing

The requel (That's right, I invented the word for remake/prequel) to the 1982 John Carpenter classic of the same name is rife with next generation creature effects, but the story can't decide if it's a prequel, or a remake. The story follows the exact same formula as the 1982 gem, but throws a not-so-convincing Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and an underwhelming Joel Edgerton in the lead roles. Kurt Russell they are not.

The story takes place showing the events leading up to Carpenter's version, with a mysterious craft and creature found in the barren wastelands of Antarctica. A team of researchers extricate the creature, and celebrate the scientific find, all the while oblivious to the fact that it is malicious by nature. It thaws and wreaks havoc on the research base until the onus of responsibility to prevent its total global annihilation falls on one woman. A paleontologist. Pretty much your standard creature flick.

The film climaxes much like its predecessor, but you can tell that they are trying to be clever and original. There are not-so-subtle hints at foreshadowing earlier on in the film, and you might miss them, but there was absolutely no surprise. Unfortunately, the final scene plays out in your mind about 30 seconds before it hits the screen. Total letdown.

The cast is mostly Scandinavian, and they look like the rough and tumble bunch that joined Kurt nearly 30 years ago. The one bright spot is Eric Christian Olsen, who I really like as an actor. He can't be taken too seriously, but has underrated comic chops. His demise is particularly chilling in an otherwise unimpressive array of gruesome special effects deaths.

The fun of the film isn't quite as present as it should. The "ten little indians" story where nobody knows who to trust, and everyone dies one by one, but you just don't know when or by whom doesn't quite hold weight because you just don't really care that much as a viewer. There are a few jumpy moments (intentional), but this film is about money and action more than fear and science fiction.

Winstead tries a bit too hard to channel her inner Sigourney Weaver, but she simply fails. Edgerton, who was so great in Warrior, doesn't do much of anything with his role as the helicopter pilot who gets sucked into the fray.

Kudos to the visual effects team, who create one nasty monster, and who put some disturbing images up on the screen. Shame on the writers, however, for destroying a perfectly ripe franchise opportunity.

As a huge fan of the Carpenter version, I was disappointed in the lack of originality to the new rendition. There are so many areas of opportunity with this franchise, and with new technology, I was really expecting quite a bit more than I got.

It's a fun way to spend an hour and a half, but it doesn't live up to its legacy, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone other than a Carpenter fan or someone who truly appreciates creature flicks. 5/10.