Fast & Furious 6

Vin Diesel is awful. Just plain awful. His voice is distinctly English, but he still babbles incoherently like Stallone or Schwarzenegger in their primes. Fortunately for him, he has big muscles. Not quite Dwayne Johnson big though. That man's bicep vein is bigger than my arm. He gets swollen and sweaty again for the sixth outing of the massively successful franchise that just keeps coming (and will continue with Fast 7, but we'll talk about that later).

What is it about a film with a questionable cast (Diesel, Walker, Rodriguez, Ludacris, Tyrese...) that brings in audiences in droves? ($120 million opening day weekend, and a 7.8 star rating on IMDB) My answer is simple. Fast cars, hot women, unbelievable story, and just plain high octane action. The film barely slows down to breathe between chases, and when it does, you are forgiving of the story because the car chases are so cool. This time around there's a master criminal who is threatening to destroy the world, and the only thing standing between him and total global domination is Vin Diesel in a muscle car and a tank top. Are you kidding me? There are so many plot holes and ridiculous character moves that it makes Steven Seagal movies look like documentaries. OK, not quite, but you get the point. The story is terrible. But it's just so much fun!

Maybe it's the cast that makes this bearable, or maybe it's the tone. It's definitely the car chases and the nonsensical James Bond villain wannabe bad guy. Played by Luke Evans, he is a Welsh with a mustache who never quite sells himself as a criminal mastermind. In fact, if not for the sweet indy-car, there wouldn't be anything cool about him at all. He's just kind of a dud in the role. I was ever waiting for him to be ruthless and cold, but he was all bark. He's swarthy and has an accent, perfect fit for . Otherwise he's very average. He kind of looks like a darker-haired James McAvoy if he was a bit more mysterious. His name will come to the forefront in the next couple of years though as he plays Bard the Bowman in the next two Hobbit films. Anyway, this was a role he could have passed on if not for the paycheck.

This is the Summer of the Rock. Three films (GI Joe, Pain & Gain, F&F 6)and he manages to wear too-tight Underarmour shirts in two of them. Well done, Dwayne. Well done. He has a great personality, and enormous arms, but I worry he's going to collapse under all that weight on his upper body. Dwayne is the prototypical action star, but he's sort of overexposing himself right now. Doing too many movies with the same archetype. He's got the tools of a great thespian, but I'm afraid he'll never be able to escape his physical presence. Is it any wonder Arnold Schwarzenegger never got an Oscar nomination? OK, bad example. Dwayne has potential to be a very high caliber actor, but he'll never be seen as anything other than a hero (his TV show titled Hero doesn't help that) as long as he doesn't branch out. He's got the money. He's done the action star thing. He's gotten his foot in the producer door. I would love for him to do a bit more comedy and then step into some more obscure independent films. Try some serious drama for a change. Call me crazy, but I think he's got the chops for it.

Paul Walker has been in show business since he was 13. He's a poor man's Ricky Schroeder or Mark-Paul Gosselaar, but F&F has been his bread and butter. He's been in 5 of the FF films, and isn't slowing down. Would it depress you to know his films have grossed over a billion dollars? Me too. I suppose I'm accepting his acting ability, and he's not as annoying as in past films. He's getting better with age, but he's still far from good. He is forever going to be linked to this franchise, but I don't think he's upset about that. Watching him act is like watching what you think would be the gag reel from any other film. Imagine Burt Reynolds outtakes from Smokey and the Bandit. I imagine Walker has the same effect on the crew.

The rest of the cast is attractive women and Michelle Rodriguez. Gina Carano joins the team for the first time, and gets to use her MMA skills in lots of girl fights. Mostly with Michelle Rodriguez. The fighting is impressive, but the acting is amateur. Much like 2011's Haywire showcased her physical talents much more than her acting, so does FF6. Good for her for making the transition though. I'd love to see her stick with it and have a long and successful career. Michelle Rodriguez just annoys me. I blame her for Avatar losing the Best Picture Oscar. OK, that's a bit harsh, but she does nothing for the credibility of the craft. Other than the two of them, we have Jordana Brewster, one of the most naturally beautiful women on the planet (and I almost met her once), Thor's real life wife, Elsa Pataky, and Gal Gadot who is actually a pretty decent actress despite being on screen for the sole purpose of eye candy. It's a fun movie and I'm sure the whole cast enjoys making these films.

Justin Lin directs his fourth FF film, and this one is definitely the best. I imagine you are wondering how I can flip a 180 in my assessment. It's easy. This film was pretty fun despite the aforementioned flaws. Sure, Rodriguez and Diesel are ridiculous, and Paul Walker is a joke, but the cars go really fast. Lots of stuff blows up. The movie moves really fast. We aren't forced to invest time into characters or sub-plots. Lin jumps right into the action and I really appreciate him for that. He's going to be around for a while, and it's not just because of the money he's going to make for Universal (and has already). He's a solid director, even if he's done this franchise 4 times. It might take him a few more action films to get into something serious, but he is definitely one of the young guns (under 40).

A pleasant surprise is the teaser of the next film. Jason Statham shows up just before the credits role, and it creates a very interesting prospect. He will be the slain-brother-revenge-seeking villain in F7 (I'm trademarking it now). Should be a fun ride if they get the Rock and Vin back on board, and I'm sure Paul Walker doesn't have any prior engagements. My guess is that there will be another film or two before audiences grow tired, but until they do...8/10.

The Hangover Part III

The epic conclusion as stated in the ads, has finally arrived. In 2009, The Hangover became the highest grossing R-rated comedy of all time, and it spawned offspring. Unfortunately, no matter how good the chemistry between cast-mates and no matter how focused the director and writers, it is really difficult to make a comedy sequel.

The Hangover II took us through the same storyline in a different setting, hoping to capitalize on shock humor and Zack Galifianakis' comedic star power. His Alan is a fascinating character with such shallowness that there is massive depth and endless possibilities. Sadly, the recycled humor in Hangover II set the third one up for a bit of dubiousness. Aside from giving away much of the best in the previews, it is simply stale. Other films have jumped on the bandwagon in the last 4 years, but none were as effective as the original Hangover.

Hangover III had an opportunity to do something fresh, but again, kidnapping and ransom became pivotal coercion tactics for the Wolf Pack to do unthinkable and unscrupulous things. The story begins with Alan making another boneheaded decision that leads to his parents' disappointment. This one involves a giraffe, and it's actually pretty funny. We then find ourselves in a ridiculous caper where the Pack has to find Mr. Chow (redundant humor) and $42 million in gold or else their friend Doug will be killed. Not very original. They drive to Mexico, and back to Vegas where they ultimately find themselves in the climactic showdown.

There are some very funny parts, none more so than halfway through the closing credits when Ed Helms' Stu finds himself once again physically altered (remember the face tattoo in HOII? This is much, much funnier). The dialogue is raunchy and pedantic, with F-bombs thrown around like crazy, and Galifianakis' Alan making the most ridiculous statements that the rest of the guys either shrug off, or tell him how stupid he is. "Did you know that this whole hotel is made of marbles?" The whole point is a fun-filled stress ride of debauchery, and the three guys (and Mr. Chow) make a good team. Bradley Cooper is the leader. The cool, good-looking, problem-solver. Ed Helms is the paranoid voice of reason who is constantly in a state of panic, and Zack Galifianakis is the comic relief. In a comedy, that's a pretty pivotal role, and he is definitely in his element, though his character is made to be even more crazy now that he's off his meds. Ken Jeong is the kooky Asian gangster, Leslie Chow, and we thought we saw the end of his genitals in HOII, but we haven't. Awesome. Thanks Todd Phillips. He takes a much more central role in the story, but his annoying high-pitched self-deprecating Asian accent gets old very quickly.

Todd Phillips is a very funny comedy writer and director, but this is limited by the talent. In Old School he had Will Ferrell, Luke Wilson, and Vince Vaughn. In Starsky and Hutch he had Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, and in the Hangover movies he had Galifianakis and Ed Helms. Great comedic actors can make a film work, even if it is a mediocre story as long as there is sharp writing. Obviously this isn't always the case, but my point is that Phillips is doing something that many directors (or writers) could do. He hit the jackpot with The Hangover, and is riding the wave of success all the way to the bank. He isn't attached to anything else right now, and expect him to dabble in the producer role a bit more in the coming years (2012's Project X) and possibly save directorial gigs for pet projects.

Melissa McCarthy joins the cast this time around in an odd cameo that never quite goes where it should. She shares a powerful moment with Galifianakis (I just like saying his name) in a pawn shop in Vegas. Great potential energy between the two of them, and I wouldn't be surprised if they are put together sometime soon headlining a feature comedy. All in all, you know what you're getting into with The Hangover III, and Phillips tries to tie everything up nicely in the end, but there just isn't enough invested in the back stories to care all that much. This franchise is all about fart jokes and sick humor. He should have given us a little more of that, he should have been more like the original in a different way (does that even make sense?). 6/10.

Star Trek: Into Darkness

Into Darkness is a bit of a head-scratching title for the sequel to 2009's mega hit and franchise resurrecting Star Trek. J.J. Abrams has always been a writing phenom in the film and television world, but Star Trek moved him into a class of his own as a director. Into Darkness is a bit of a double entendre referring to the crew of the Enterprise as they boldly go where no one has gone before, and Captain Kirk's own struggles to maintain composure and prevent his reckless behavior from compromising the lives of his people. The film is not, however, quite as dark and dramatic as advertised.

The trailers pit the crew in impossible situations, dire peril, moral dilemmas, and Kirk is to blame. There is a Federation traitor who has a terrorist agenda and is wreaking havoc on Earth. Kirk must make sacrifices and decisions that are beyond his ability. These are all ideas that transcend the Star Trek genre alone, they are great emotional action themes. I have to say that Paramount and Bad Robot did one of the best jobs of marketing the film that I've seen in a long time. The previews make the film out to be much more dramatic than it is in reality, and the short teaser shown before The Hobbit in December dropped us right in the action and left us thinking that the situation was hopeless.

That's the magic of Star Trek. Every episode has the heavy feeling of hopelessness, and there's always a clever gadget or an emerging hero that helps them to narrowly escape harms way. This film has no shortage of classic plot points. The warp drive breaks down. The ship is disabled. Crew are stuck on a hostile planet. Kirk breaks protocol and Federation orders, much to the chagrin of his superiors (and Spock). There is a love/hate relationship between Kirk and Spock. And finally, the thing I just can't quite get behind: The rules of gravity and space are suspended. I mean come on, how does a spaceship lift off from earth, or hover, or emerge from under water? Warp speed, OK. Phasers, OK. I know it's the Trek universe, but it annoys me (as if everything else is realistic).

Our story drops us right in the middle of an uncivilized ancient planet, where the crew is attempting to stop a volcano from destroying all of life, while simultaneously avoiding giving any clues to the indigenous people that there is technology beyond the wheel or fire. Of course, there are problems with their plan, and we are given a fifteen minute action sequence that jolts us right into the film. Great job by Abrams. We are then introduced to our antagonist. A Federation traitor named John Harrison who has secrets and is one of the better villains on screen this year. Played by Benedict Cumberbatch, his voice has the perfect deep British accent that just oozes confidence. He turns out to be more than expected, both physically and in character. The rest of the film follows the Enterprise crew as they hunt down Harrison through the deep chasms of space, finding themselves among familiar enemies, the Klingons. They are as dangerous as ever, but have an updated look. Don't expect to see Wharf, these guys are a bit more intimidating. They then discover a secret that they need to remedy or the fate of the entire planet Earth will be compromised. You know, typical Star Trek.

J.J. Abrams is hotter than Chris Nolan right now, and will be transitioning from Star Trek to Star Wars just in time. This film was a Director's nightmare. A sequel to a massively successful action film that's based on a beloved cult classic storyline. Sounds a lot like Star Wars. Wait, what? Abrams has more pressure on his next project than any other director in perhaps the last few decades. Sure, it's just in the writing stage, but the expectations will be astronomical, both in quality and box office. Disney and Abrams? It will be bigger than the Pirates' franchise. To direct a sequel and do it justice is simply unheard of, and unfortunately, Star Trek: Into Darkness just wasn't as good as the original. Better antagonist? Absolutely. Better action? Not quite. Better story? It's a tough call. Better swagger by Kirk? Definitely. Abrams is jumping ship before the third act, which is a good call. Many directors have done a fine job with the third film, but more often than not, it's just box office fodder and there is lost respect for the art. I like Abrams as much as the next guy, but I'm excited to see him dip his toes into something new. Side note about Nolan if we're comparing directors. His involvement in the DC Comics universe will probably continue for a few more years, at least as a writer/producer/consultant, but the latest rumor has him taking on the next James Bond film. Think about that prospect for a minute.

Chris Pine has his Jim Kirk down pat. He's capitalized on this opportunity and then some. Expect that when a new director takes the helm, he will be back in the captain's chair with his ice blue eyes and perpetual smirk. Zachary Quinto, likewise is a perfect choice for Spock. The two of them enjoy witty banter with hyperbolic technical jargon that you understand, but don't quite understand. The rest of the cast does a nice job, but after the first film introduced us to the next generation, this one hones in on Kirk and Spock. I must say that of the new cast members, Karl Urban as "Bones" McCoy does a pretty fine job, as does Simon Pegg as Scotty. He's a bit over the top at times, but still gets the character down. Anton Yelchin as Chekov is a ridiculous choice, and the forged accent is over done and annoying.

There are more than just a few sparkles of the original series in this second film, and not just because of Leonard Nimoy's annoyingly cheesy recurring presence. That kills it for me a bit, and was one of the fun, yet disappointing aspects of the 2009 film. At least there's no Shatner, that would just be sad. Star Trek: Into Darkness makes me want to go back and watch the original films (I-III, they went to crap with IV and beyond). There is an unavoidable sense of nostalgia, and Abrams evokes that nicely if not a bit too obviously. I like the Star Trek storyline, and I'm by no means a Trekkie, but I'm also no stranger. It's a fun idea; innocent, heroic, and endless possibilities. A crew of highly trained scientists, pilots, engineers, linguists, and medical officers exploring and discovering distant parts of the universe. There's something pure and exciting about that.

You know you'll see the film. It's the transition action film after the behemoth Iron Man, but before the summer storm of visual action overload. It isn't as good as the 2009 version, but it is still very well done, and a fun time. 7/10.

The Great Gatsby

Baz Luhrmann returns to form with a reimagining of the F. Scott Fitzgerald classic. Let me begin by saying I'm not particularly a fan of the novel. It is grounded in a beautiful and melancholic setting, but being devoid of an Ivy League education, and being a West Coaster, I find the book to be above average at best (blasphemy, I know). That's not to say I can't appreciate a fresh perspective on a literary classic. Baz Luhrmann is an odd director. His fusion of classic with modern is confusing, but wonderfully entertaining at the same time. Moulin Rouge! is one of my favorite period-bending films of the past 15 years, and Ewan McGregor was robbed of an Oscar nomination. Romeo & Juliet (1996) was also a very inventive look at the Shakespearean classic (the story is a bit overdone, but a valiant attempt at originality). Luhrmann then let his ego take over and he tried the epic failure that was Australia. It's been a few years since he has directed a feature film, and we've come full circle back to Leonardo DiCaprio as the absurdly handsome Jay Gatsby.

The film's protagonist isn't Gatsby at all, it's simple and naive Yale graduate Nick Carraway, played by Tobey Maguire. Tobey has dropped out of the spotlight since the Spider-Man trilogy, and except for a great role in 2009's Brothers, he has been all but forgotten. He plays Carraway with a sense of curiosity and awe, but laments as if his encounters with Gatsby were too good to be true. There is a mysterious sense of fantasy that Luhrmann lends to his interpretation that simply doesn't exist in the novel. Carraway is caught up in this newfound lifestyle of extravagance and excess, and Gatsby does hold mysteriousness, but DiCaprio and this version is a bit too much of a recluse and enigma.

Set in 1922, in New York, the stock market is hot, and bootlegged alcohol is flowing. People are pushing social boundaries,and Gatsby is at the center of every party. His intrigue is of course all an elaborate plot to win back his lost love, but life has a way of being a bit more complicated than that. Carey Mulligan is beautiful, but a bit vapid, making her Daisy Buchanan a bit hollow. Joel Edgerton brings some much needed machismo to the role of Tom Buchanan, and is probably the best cast actor in the film. Except for Leo. Is there any other actor that could play this momentous of a character with such presence? I really can't think of one. There is a rising tension until we get to see him on screen, and I actually laughed out loud when he finally appeared. Luhrmann revels in his muse and his impact. This is the type of role that was made for DiCaprio.

The stylized 1920's party scene is nothing new to Baz. He incorporates his modern blend of music, this time around compliments of Jay-Z. Definitely fitting to draw today's crowd closer to the setting. The story unfolds as it should, in line with the book, and with the exception of a few very small and harmless changes, it does it justice.

What I couldn't quite get behind was Tobey Maguire. I'm not sure what it is about him, but I'm just not a fan. He was a cute kid in The Ice Storm, Pleasantville, Cider House Rules, and even as a goofy Peter Parker, but I just don't see him as an adult, no matter how old he gets. There will always be roles for guys like him, and I'm sure he has a following, but it isn't me. He didn't do anything wrong with the role, and I'm sure being Leo DiCaprio's best friend has its perks, but he's not who I would have chosen. He can be seen as chess ingenue Bobby Fischer in the upcoming Ed Zwick drama titled Pawn Sacrifice. No joke.

Gatsby is a fun movie, but a slight disappointment at the same time. I am not sure what I was expecting, knowing exactly how the story goes when I walked in the theatre. I also realize that Baz Luhrmann is a visionary, and he probably did a better job than just about any other director out there. What I find myself wondering even now is if The Great Gatsby needed to be done again. There are dozens of fresh stories, and I know the craze is literature adaptations or superhero-mania, but remakes, however imaginative, are still remakes.

I had higher hopes for the quirky filmmaker. Hell, I was even expecting Australia to be a cool movie. It was not. This makes two in a row, and it will be interesting to see where he goes from here. The film gained moderate success at the box office, but it was destined to be handicapped from the start. The story is stale. The director's flair has fizzled, and it was released in the wrong season. This is a Christmas movie all the way. Not good enough for Oscars, and not a blockbuster.

It's something different, but you might not like it. 6/10.

Iron Man 3

Shane Black picks up where Jon Favreau left off, and this Iron Man has a different feel from the start. A more human, less superhuman feel, and that might be the point. Act one introduced us to the perfectly cast Robert Downey Jr. as the man we all wish we could be (sort of). Iron Man, for what I would consider to be a second-tier superhero, has become the poster boy of the Marvel universe, with nobody except perhaps Wolverine as more recognizable or universal at this point. It's for that reason that the third film had to take a slightly different turn.

The first act is always the introduction to the character. We get to know them, their lives, their limitations, and the boundaries of reason within the franchise. The second act introduces us to a spectacular (or lackluster) enemy. The third act, gives us a glimpse into the flaws and personal struggles of our protagonist. In Iron Man 3, Tony Stark is battling his burning emotions. Anxiety, fear, love, and the reality that he isn't invincible. Shane Black does a nice job of letting Stark's close friends prove their allegiance by putting themselves in harms way in spite of the dangers inherent to being close to him. Nowhere is this more evident than with his girlfriend/assistant, Pepper Potts (recent Sexiest Woman Alive winner, Gwyneth Paltrow). Pepper as well as Colonel Rhodes (Don Cheadle) step up and are much more pivotal pieces of the story, as we see Tony Stark much more than Iron Man in this film.

Downey Jr. is incredible, as usual, in the role of Stark. There is so much wit, confidence, snark, and arrogance, but it is very endearing. We know that his true intentions lie with protecting people and using his considerable resources and intellect for good. That's what makes his flaws and vulnerabilities so relatable. He's a good guy at heart, through the thick outer shell of machismo. You can even see this at work in his interactions with his fans, children, and complete strangers.

Paltrow channels her inner-action star and steps into the suit (literally) in a much more central role. No longer is she the damsel in distress, Pepper kicks some serious butt. Her character is a great contrast, and a great match for Stark. She's logical, grounded, and puts up with his shenanigans while keeping him in check. Cheadle trades in his War Machine image for the Iron Patriot, a much more kinder, gentler weapon of mass destruction. He also spends considerable time outside of the suit, and is a great on-screen partner for Downey Jr. I'm personally glad that Terrence Howard passed on Iron Man 2.

Now we get to the bad guys. We have two in this film, as any good superhero film does nowadays. Guy Pearce plays the reformed nerd with a bit of a gripe, and Ben Kingsley plays The Mandarin, an eccentric English speaking Osama Bin Laden whose terrorist attacks are ferocious and meticulous. His voice reminds me of Heath Ledger's take on the Joker back in 2008, and the idea is frightening, especially with the jihadi video messages interrupting regularly scheduled transmissions. You imagine from the beginning that the Mandarin has something that he's hiding, something we haven't been privy to, even as an audience.

There is a pretty significant plot twist a little over midway through the movie, and it's a disappointment. Big time. I would love to be a wallflower in the writer's room when they decided that it was a good idea. Original? Perhaps a little bit. Satisfying? Not at all. It kind of threw the whole idea of what we thought was happening in the movie out the window. Baby with the bathwater if you will.

Maybe there is a lack of original ideas, and to their credit, the visual effects were amazing. Regenerating limbs, burning men, and of course, Robert Downey Jr. flying through the air doing maneuvers like an F-22. The action scenes are great, and although I was expecting a bit more wall-to-wall action after reading some early reviews, the few major sequences were pretty great. Particularly the mid-air rescue, and the destruction of the Malibu mansion.

What I didn't really like is the progression of the technology. Of course, things need to get bigger (or in some cases - smaller) and better, but what originally bordered on sci-fi visionary technology has become pure fantasy. Don't get me wrong, I love the suits and the gadgets. There's something universally inspiring about technology. However, when the AI robot butler becomes the savior, it's gone a bit too far.

I love what Jon Favreau did for this franchise, and for Marvel. The Avengers has an endless supply of ideas, storylines, and even characters. They can thank Jon for that. Iron Man did what X-Men valiantly attempted but ultimately failed to do, and that was attract a mainstream audience to a fantasy universe. He's no doubt reaping the benefits in spades as an executive producer. I'll try to find his cut, but at nearly $500 million worldwide and counting after the domestic opening weekend pulled in $175 million, he's definitely seeing green.

Shane Black is an interesting director with not a lot of experience in this position. He's paid his dues through the years as a strong action writer (Lethal Weapon franchise). The surprise to me was the use of Ben Kingsley. A veteran Oscar-winning actor with limitless potential in a surefire memorable performance. They squandered that opportunity however. I was also happy to see James Badge Dale in a strong antagonistic role, serving as the hired help. He's been a favorite of mine ever since he chopped his own hand off in 24, or killed Leo DiCaprio in The Departed. He's in World War Z and The Lone Ranger later this summer, so it's a very good year for him and his upward trajectory.

Ultimately, this was an unexpected disappointment. I love the franchise. Love the characters, but this one left me feeling a bit cheated. Even Iron Man 2 had Mickey Rourke in an over-the-top Russian accent for God's sake. Guy Pearce and Ben Kingsley just weren't that caliber. Of course you have to see it, but if you don't see movies every week, I would say wait for Star Trek on May 17th. Of course, there is no shortage of blockbusters this summer, so you'll have your pick. Can't blame anyone involved in the project, but it just didn't satisfy me fully. 6/10.